Do you remember when you lost your virginity? And with whom? Of course you do. Everyone does. It's ... usually ... a pretty momentous occasion in a person's life. That's not to say the event itself has to be momentous. For every story of "It was amazing, we were in love!", I've heard three more that are filled with anticlimactic feelings of regret, humor, embarrassment, hilarity, shame, "It was ok", "That wasn't what I expected" and "What the fuck was I thinking?" And aside from the occasions of actual tragedy, often the overwhelming feeling is one of ... "meh".
You know I've wondered ... why do they call it "losing" your virginity? I didn't lose it. I gave it to someone, willingly, all wrapped up in pretty paper and a bow (or a soccer jersey and jean shorts, as it were) after thinking long and hard about this important life decision. And of course, I gave it to Jack.
Ok! You're right! I didn't think long and hard about it. I've already written about how I decided I was going to give him this gift practically the moment I met him. And my decision only grew more resolute as that summer wore on. Jack's "strategy" of continually telling me it wasn't going to happen was paying off. As the summer wore on I just wanted it more and more. The heavy petting, the fondling, the stroking, the sweaty tussling in the back of his car ... it was all just a prelude ... a months-long foreplay session.
I knew he would "give in." That it was his plan all along. I knew he could not resist my wiles. But it was still after midsummer when it finally happened.
Finally! The "First" that really counts
It was a beautiful summer day, and we were at Jack's house as we often were. His mother worked, and an assortment of friends could usually be found hanging around. That day it was just Jack and I, and his brother Scott and his girlfriend Jessie. We were fooling around, listening to music, trying to decide if we should do something. Eventually Jack and I wandered off to his bedroom. It was nice. There was air conditioning.
Once the door was firmly closed and locked, Jack looked at me with a slow smile and pushed me down on the bed. I laughed and pushed him away with my bare foot. That was all it took. He was still smiling when he jumped on to the bed, but his eyes had changed. The sparkling good humor was replaced by the swirling darkness that I loved so much. It made me tremble. He quickly straddled my legs, trapping them beneath him. He ran his hands up my legs, over my waist and under my shirt. His warm palms were smooth over my skin, and my stomach muscles clenched. Reaching further, he cupped by breasts, and I was sure he could feel how hard my nipples were through the thin cotton of my summer bra. I gasped a little as he rubbed his thumbs over them, and that touch sparked a wave of electricity that traveled down the length of my body.
"Take off your shirt." Jack said, still smiling that smile. I wriggled and pulled my shirt over my head, as Jack was still straddling my legs. I tossed it aside and looked up at him, a little breathless. He was already shirtless, it was a warm day. I took in his dark wavy hair, his dark eyes staring down at me with hunger behind them. His delicious mouth curved into a smirk as his thumbs continued to trace circles around my hard nipples. He had curls of dark hair on his chest and around his navel, and my gaze lingered on the waistband of his white soccer shorts. Liquid heat began to gather in my lower belly. God, I wanted him.
Jack ran his hands lightly back down my stomach, his fingers tickling my smooth skin. I laughed and squirmed, and the tingling sensation ran over every inch of my skin. His hands paused just for a moment at the button of my jean shorts, and then he unceremoniously shucked them off, without even sparing me a glance. He threw my shorts to the floor and went back to his position, straddling my legs. His eyes swept over me, taking in my trembling body, laying there for him in my bra and panties. I rested my hands on his knees and the contact sparked something in him. Suddenly leaned down and pressed his mouth to mine, hard. The next several minutes were a riot of tangled limbs, heavy breathing and roaming hands. I couldn't get enough of him, I wanted to taste every inch! I kissed his necked, tongued his ears, licked his shoulders. I loved the musky salty taste of him. I felt like I couldn't get close enough to his warm skin so I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. His mouth was hard and soft at the same time as it explored my mouth, where his tongue pressed insistently against mine. My neck, where he sucked and bit hard enough that I was sure he would leave a mark. He pushed my bra up, not even bothering to take it off, and licked and flicked my nipples with his tongue. That almost undid me! The heat exploded in my belly and my hips bucked uncontrollably. I pressed myself even harder against him and I could feel the hardness between his legs. I reached down and stroked him through his nylon soccer shorts and was rewarded with his low groan, almost a growl, as his hot mouth roamed my breasts.
I closed my eyes and whispered his name and the next thing I knew he was laughing low in his throat as he pulled off my panties with his teeth. I laughed too, shakily. I had managed to lose the bra and my whole body was trembling, though not from the a/c. The heat of our bodies and the intensity of our tangling was quickly overpowering the overworked window unit. When I was completely naked, Jack kneeled up again and softly stroked my upper inner thigh, not quite touching me between the legs. I was a quivering, molten pool of desire, I was ready to do anything he wanted.
"It's getting hot in here," Jack laughed. "Are you thirsty?"
"Uh, uh" I probably mumbled. I'm not sure I was capable of putting a sentence together at that point.
He laughed again, jumped up, and left the room.
Whaaaa? He was stopping? Now? I mean, I WAS thirsty, and hot, but I didn't want to him stop for anything! Not even if the house were on fire!
Jack returned quickly with two cups. He took a couple of sips out of one and handed it to me. I drained the cool water and leaned over to put the cup on the side table. I noticed the light was fading outside, the afternoon was wearing into evening. When I turned back he was standing by the side of the bed, still holding the second cup. He shook it when I looked at him. It rattled. It was full of ice.
"Lay back, Shea, I think we need to cool off." He grinned slyly.
Cool off? That was the last thing I wanted! But I did what he said.
He stretched out next to me and balanced the cup on the bed between us. He plucked an ice cube from the cup and popped it into his mouth. Then he reached for me and rolled me towards him, his warm hand on the small of my back. He brought his mouth level to my breast and blew on my nipple. Oh! His cool breath made my nipple contract and sent shivers down my spine. I held my breath as he pulled me even closer and closed his mouth on my hard nipple. So cold! He pressed he ice cube against my hard nipple and rolled it around. I tried to stay still, but I couldn't! It was too cold! I let out a little shriek and rolled away from him across the bed. He grabbed at me but missed.
"Hey! Get back here!" Jack scolded, laughing. He moved across the bed toward me.
"No!" I squealed. I tried to protect my naked skin with the sheet, but he was too strong for me. He ripped away the sheet and pulled me back towards him by the leg as I squirmed and giggled. "Nononononono!!!"
He pinned me to the bed by straddling my knees again. I couldn't stop laughing. I tried to push him off, but he was determined to have his way. The cup of ice had upended on the bed and a small pile of melting cubes was making a wet spot on the sheet. He selected another piece and held it in front of my face, taunting me, letting cold drops of water fall to my chest.
"Now, you hold still," Jack admonished.
"Jack! C'mon! Don't!" I squealed again. I was giggling uncontrollably, I couldn't stop.
Jack sloooowwwlllly lowered the ice cube to my breast again. He rubbed it around and around my nipple, slowly letting it melt against my hot skin. Water dribbled down my sides, leaving icy cold streaks. He moved the shrinking cube to my other breast, repeating the ritual. I started panting between the giggles. I don't know if it was because of the giggle fit or the undeniable arousal I was starting to feel. I started feeling that tingling sensation start to build back up again, in my stomach, between my legs.
Jack's eyes were intent on my face, on my reaction as he ran the dripping ice cube quickly over each nipple and down between my breasts. He smiled when he felt my hips rise just a bit off the bed ... so he didn't see my hand sneak out and grab my own piece of ice. I brought my hand up like I was going to stoke his chest, and at the last minute I pressed it against his stomach right between his belly button and the waistband of his shorts.
"Argh!" Jack yelled as he tried to jump away, and it was enough for me to get free. I leapt off the bed, but where could I go? I was naked! And he knew it.
"Oh, you are in trouble now!" Jack grinned wickedly at me. I could see he meant it. I tried to keep the bed between us, but the room was not that big.
"No more!" I laughed, breathless. "Truce!"
"No way." His evil smile matched his dark eyes.
I tried to stave him off by showing him I was armed. I held out my hand and my pitiful little ice cube melted in my palm. We both burst out in fresh laughter. Jack jumped onto the bed and grabbed the rest of the cubes.
I backed away. "Truce?" I tried again.
Jack just smiled. He was kneeling up on the bed now, and crooked a finger to beckon me closer.
"No!"
"Come here, Shea."
"No way!" But looking at him, there on the bed motioning to me, giving me that intense look, he was hard to resist. I took a step closer. He lunged forward and grabbed my wrist, pulling me onto the bed. He pressed the ice in his hand to my lower back and I screamed for real, like a cartoon. "Eeeeek!!!"
We were wrestling on the bed, both laughing when there was a sudden pounding on the door. We froze and stared at each other. A voice on the other side of the door called out.
"Hey! Let me in! I want to play, too!"
It was Scott! Either Jessie had gone home or they were taking a break.
"Go away, Scott!" Jack yelled.
Scott was laughing on the other side of the door, and still pounding away at it.
"C'mon guys, let me in!"
Jack and I burst out laughing. He raised his eyebrows as if he were considering the idea. I smacked him on the arm. He shrugged.
"No!" Jack yelled. "Go away! Find your own fun!"
"Aw, man!" Scott gave up. We could hear him walk away muttering, "What the hell are they doing in there?"
"What ARE we doing in here?" Jack asked me, suddenly serious. I was on my back again on the bed and he laid between my legs. It was all I could do not to grind up against him. I was still completely naked, he was still wearing his shorts. Why didn't this bother me?
"This?" I asked, and kissed him.
"This?" I licked and kissed his neck.
"This?" I whispered in his ear as I ran my hand down his body and found his erect cock. I rubbed him through his shorts with the palm of my hand.
Jack growled back in his throat and put his hand to his mouth. I saw he still had a sliver of ice. I opened my mouth to protest, but the look in his eyes stopped me. He ran his cool tongue down my stomach, over my hip bone, down down down until his head was between my legs. I could feel his cold breath on my warm pussy, and I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"Aaaahhh..." I could feel the bit of ice on his tongue as he slowly licked and sucked the delicate folds of my warm flesh. He had only given me head once before, and it hadn't been like his. I couldn't help but open my legs wider and put my hand in his dark hair.
"Jack," I whispered. "Jack."
The room was getting warmer and my breath was coming faster. My thighs were starting to tremble around Jack's head. I could smell the aroma of my arousal in the close room.
Jack kissed back up my stomach and chest until we were face to face.
"Are you sure you want to do this? Are you really sure?" Jack looked into my eyes, trying to determine if there was any hesitation.
"Yes, yes, yes ..." I whispered.
Jack took a deep breath.
"Ok." He said, and smiled.
My stomach dropped. Oh! Was this really going to happen? Finally! I was suddenly nervous. Was it going to hurt? Would I bleed? Does he have protection? I should make sure he has protection, I'm not going to be that girl who gets knocked up the night she loses her virginity.
Jack got up and started rustling around his desk. Sudden music wove its way through the room, ethereal mood music of some kind that I had never heard. I smiled. Nice touch.
The casual and easy flirtatious sexy feelings I had all afternoon were suddenly gone. I felt awkward and unsure of myself. Should I just lay back? Should I get up and stand behind him at his desk? Put my arms around him? Should I do a jig? I felt all knees and elbows, trying to strike a sexy pose on the bed.
Jack finally turned and crawled back onto the bed with me. He knelt next to me and finally took off his shorts. I hadn't seen him entirely naked before this, and I couldn't quite bring myself to look at his erect cock. I was struck by sudden shyness. Without saying anything, he took me in his arms and kissed me passionately, deeply. Not roughly, like he sometimes did, but there was possession in the kiss. One of his hands found its way between my legs and started to stroke me gently there, pushing against my tight opening, circling my clit. My body responded and I arched up against him. I could tell he was restraining himself as he took in my entire body, hand and mouth everywhere, neck, breasts, belly, touching me, but in a controlled way. Only the sweat beads forming on his lower back gave him away.
He kissed me again and I moaned into his mouth. I wanted to just melt into him so that his blood was my blood, his heart beat mine. I felt so totally his at that moment.
He whispered in my ear. "Just tell me if you want to stop, and I will."
I moaned something incoherent.
"Look at me." Jack pulled away so he could see my face. "I mean it."
"Yes, Jack." Was all I could manage.
Jack propped himself up on his elbows and I felt something new. I put my hands on his chest and might have uttered something like. "Ohhh!" He was using the head of his cock to rub my clit and tease my pussy. It was smooth and warm and felt like heaven. The next sensation is one that I find so hard to describe accurately. The feeling of his cock pushing into me, very slowly. Just a little. Just the tip, as we like to say. I had only felt Jack's fingers inside me, and this was a much different, much ... fuller ... feeling. It felt good, amazing, really, but I couldn't help but tense up in anticipation.
"Try to relax, Shea ..." Jack breathed in my ear. Did he sound just the slightest bit amused?
I couldn't help but laugh a little, "I am trying!" I tried to let the strange music wash over me, drums and flutes and ... rainforest sounds? What were we listening to?
He pushed just a bit harder, and at the same time resumed those delicious wet circles around my clit. I couldn't help but push toward him, further down onto him. It didn't hurt, not at first. He pushed gently in and out of me, trying to get me to relax by stimulating my clit with his fingers, and my nipples with his mouth. I arched up to meet him again and again, my head titling back, trying to breath, breathe, breathe, don't hyperventilate! I was starting to feel lightheaded as the pressure of Jack's cock pushing into me increased. (Have I mentioned I have a weird tendency to faint at odd moments, mostly due to new or intense physical stimuli? No?) I focused my attention for a minute on the window behind and above me. There was a blue curtain or shade, and the summer sun was setting outside. This beautiful blue glow was lighting the windwo like an aura. The beautiful ethereal music was like a dream. About rainforests.
Jack's restraint was wearing. I could feel the tension in his body, the sweat on his skin. I didn't know exactly what it was, but I knew he wanted more than what he was doing. I tried to show him with my body that I was ok ... that more was okay. I opened my legs a little wider, so he could get even closer to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed every place I could reach.
"Are you ok?" He whispered.
"Jack, Jack ... Jack," was all I could reply.
It was enough for him. His movements became more insistent, he pushed harder into me. I gripped my hands on his upper arms. There were a few moments of pain, I'm not going to lie. I gritted my teeth. The strange combination of pleasure and pain was ... alluring. And then and then and then ... he was ... through, further into me, all the way in. I gasped in surprise. Jack groaned like he had been holding it in, waiting for something. He pushed harder and faster, really moving in me now, and I held on to him and the pain faded and though I can't say it felt as good as it would feel even a week later (I think I was too nervous to be as wet as I would get later with Jack), the incredible sensation of ... friction ... was so surprisingly ... wow. It was incredible. I did not think I would feel that much pleasure the first time.
Jack came inside me with a low groan, and rested there a moment with his forehead against mine. I put my hands in his hair, where it was curliest, at the nape of his neck. The sheets were a sweaty mess under us and there was a musky scent in the air that made me feel tingly all over again. I could feel a delicious ache already starting between my legs. He pulled out of me with another moan, but stayed on top of me. "Shea, are you ok?"
"Whoa." I breathed.
He raised his head and looked in my eyes. "What?"
"I did not expect it to feel that good." I laughed.
Jack's eyebrows shot up with an expression that I couldn't quite read. Let's say it was a near smirk.
He shook his head at me and said again, "You're ok?"
"Oh, yeah," I laughed again. "I'm more than ok. Can I ask you something though?"
"Sure." He looked at me expectantly.
"Where the hell did you get that music?"
He opened up his mouth to reply, but a pounding on the door stopped him. It was Scott. Again.
"Jack! Dad's on his way over! He wants to make dinner. You guys better ... uh ... get out here soon!"
Jack and I stared at each other. I put my hands over my mouth. So much for post coital bliss!
"So you want to uh ... meet my dad?" Jack asked hesitantly.
And about 20 minutes later, I did. We had dinner. It was the most secretly erotic dinner I think I've ever had. And the whole time all I could think about was how I had just had sex with his son. And I loved it. I couldn't wait to do it again.
I know, I know! I promised blow jobs! But this post is long enough, and I think in order to give blow jobs the philosophical musings they deserve, I want to dedicate the next post to my first one, and the wonderful hummer, in general. Stay tuned.
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